October 2011
2 posts
2 tags
March 2011
1 post
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT NEWS →
So that super high end bar with 22 dollar cocktails is opening soon. Who cares. This is way more important.
January 2011
1 post
November 2010
3 posts
Boni's v. Bonny's
Last night after a game of trivia at the Whirlaway, I ventured back to the bar formerly known as Boni’s. The space was exactly the same; it looks like maybe they amped up the red lights and made it darker, but the tables, chairs and bar are all untouched. They pulled out the internet jukebox and put in a photo booth. The chopped up anti-drug bathroom door was now full size and lockable....
Bardump
I am going to write a real, well-thought-out review/essay tomorrow. Now here are a bunch of bars I’ve been to and what I think about them. This is all off the cuff; anything that pops up is getting print folks. I’m not editing.
Alice’s: Four AM and Karaoke? Sign me up for “Money for Nothing.” FTW.
Club Foot: I hate when family restaurants put shit all over their...
April 2010
1 post
“Keep your passport near
There is no other disappointment here”
– mclusky (via monstersliveindoorways)
February 2010
1 post
Corn Dog Man?!
I was drinking at *** *** *** (which I haven’t reviewed yet, so its name is secret) and this guy walked in carrying what looked to be a Tupperware container of cat litter. He started yelling “Mumble mumble Blah mumble!” as he walked up the bar towards the other door. My boy Brian immediately turned to me and asked “Did he say Donuts?!”
I hadn’t a clue. I waited...
July 2009
1 post
Quenchers Saloon
Hey everyone, I moved! I now live in Logan Square, in close proximity to the Burlington, so my opinion of that fine establishment is only going up. But now that I am mostly settled, posting shall resume.
Quenchers is located not too far from me, at the corner of Fullerton and Western. With a name like Quenchers Saloon, I didn’t expect much, it sounds like a bro-y kind of joint, but...
May 2009
2 posts
The Hideout
The Hideout is located in the middle of nowhere. Like, seriously. The middle of nowhere. I have cabbed it here more times than I care to mention, stumbled home through traffic more times than I can remember. The Hideout is a blast. Cheap drinks, space to sit/stand and chat, and a nice big dance floor to get crazy on. They have a little fenced in yard out front to bullshit in and the sound system...
New Wave Coffee
Christ, I really need to start drinking again. No new posts because no new bars, folks. Recommendations for places to try? Lemme know! If they sound half good or half bad, I’ll check them. That isn’t to say I haven’t been to more bars than I’ve posted about, it’s just that I haven’t been to those bars recently. I don’t want to post about some bar I went to...
April 2009
10 posts
Reggie's Rock Club
I feel like this tumblr should really be called “Chicago Nights Out FTWhat?” because I end up at bars for specific reasons and parties and not just to be in the bar itself. Oh well. I’m sticking with reviewing the bar regardless, I’ve done it for the others, I’ll do it for Reggie’s!
Reggie’s is a rock club. What this means is that they plaster the walls...
Delilah's
Delilah’s is loctated at the corner of fuck you and use google.
Didn’t think it would take me this long to get around to Delilah’s, did you? Well, it did. But here we are. Delilah’s is probably my favorite bar of all time, or at the worst, a close second to the Blind Pig in Champaign , Illinois. Delilah’s has great rock and roll, amazing specials, great taps, great...
Tiny Lounge
Tiny Lounge is located at Leavitt and Montrose in wonderful Lincoln Square.
I have a quest for knowledge. I like to be well versed in whatever I am doing. This includes drinking. When I go out for good (Sorry, not PBR) beer or cocktails, I want to be able to converse with my server or bartender about ingredients, flavor profiles and pairings. This is why I come to Tiny Lounge. Tiny Lounge is damn...
Flat Iron
“Oh, hey Matt, what’s going on? I haven’t seen you in like forever!”
“Yeah, I know. I hate this fucking place.”
Flat Iron. Guh. Flat Iron is one of a few 4 am bars serving the Crotch of Chicago. It’s a huge space with two bars, 4 or 5 pool tables, a ton of seating, a digital jukebox, and everyone you’ve ever met ever. And, as far as I can tell, no...
1 tag
The Hungry Brain
The Hungry Brain is located on Belmont just east of Western.
Going to the Hungry Brain feels like coming home. I love this bar. Dark enough for magic, comfy enough for long nights, quiet enough for conversation, loud enough to rock out, and cheap enough to get wasted. They stock little but they select well; there is usually a Three Floyds and a Dogfishhead on tap and they’ll never run out...
1 tag
The Burlington
Located on Fullerton just west of Kimball. I almost always have a good time when I go here. Granted I’ve only been here for Oldies Night which I do not think is representative of the bar, but it’s still a great time. Plus the bar is on Fullerton west of Kimball. How often am I going to end up here?Sheesh. Burlington on Oldies Night is great. 2 Buck PBR, Gumballhead specials, cheap...
Rainbo Club
I like the Rainbo Club. I like the Rainbo club when it is packed to the gills and when it’s you and the bartender. I like that it’s a quick place to stop of for a pint of cold PBR for 2 bucks or a place to get eyed like a sale item at H & M. I like the Rainbo Club.
Rainbo is somewhere between a dive and whatever is slightly above dive status. I don’t think anyone but...
Tamales Tamales Tamales! →
Not a bar, but super related. I used to get the cheese tamales (“Queso! Queso!”) until one hangover I realized I had no idea what I was eating. Who makes them? Where are they made? Is it safe? Now I know. My tamale eating days have returned!
Tamale Man: FTMFW
1 tag
The Whistler
I am really trying to stick to one post per day slash only reviewing bars that I go to within like a week or so but since I didn’t get in a post for the 31st of March, I’m going to double post.
The Whistler is a tough one. Located in beautiful and scenic Logan Square, it’s half hipster hangout and half neo-coctail powerhouse. Or so it seems. I see it more like half hipster...
1 tag
Danny's
I rarely have a good time here.
I guess I should elaborate. Danny’s is a shithole. The bartenders are pretty rude (I’ve seen them throw out a kid for not tipping. Not that that is outrageous, but where else would a bartender do that?), Pabst costs 3 bucks, the bathrooms are filthy, it’s always way too crowded, I get way to drunk here, and everybody dances. Everybody dances at...
March 2009
2 posts
1 tag
L & L Tavern
Oh, L & L. Many a night I have spent here, emptying bottles of PBR and wailing about the shit smell that explodes from the bathroom anytime anyone opens the door. The L & L is a dive; the ceiling is cracking, the bar-stools are repaired with PBR stickers and they have a really silly selection of Irish whisky. The Jukebox is stacked and the bartenders are friendly enough that on occasion, a...
Smart Bar
I had a good time at Smart Bar once. It was my 21st birthday. I saw the Field dj and I don’t really remember buying a drink. I do remember that there was some Bushmills special that wasn’t outrageous. Those times, sadly, are gone. I am now 23 nothing at Smart Bar costs less than 5 dollars. That isn’t entirely true, I’m really 22 going on 23 and a bottle of Heineken Light is...